Butterfly Memories


On a whim today I drove over to our nearest mall. It had been some time since I’d last visited Lane Bryant. I’m a tall and a little stout guy so Victoria’s Secret or a hundred other sexy shops don’t work for me.

Lane Bryant has always been my favorite. They have nice panties and bras although I miss when they had satiny string bikinis for sale. They usually have some new display every month or so with very sexy satiny confections for Christmas or Valentines or whatever. Almost always something new to add to my secret wardrobe.

I’ve been a cross-dresser since before I went to college but I’ve had my own serious wardrobe starting in those college years. I’m usually wearing panties but leave the elaborate stuff for when I have play times. Now that I have more than enough panties, I don’t have cause to go shopping until I just want to experience the thrill.

A long time ago, I got comfortable with buying for myself and even trying things on in the store. It’s become a little mundane to me if I let it be. This morning I decided to try to capture some of the magic of my first time openly buying for myself.

As I walked down the mall way toward Cacique (Lane Bryant’s lingerie half), I thought back to the days when admitting to ANYONE that I wore panties was terrifying for me. Terrifying and thrilling in some way. My nerves kept me from getting too aroused which I liked. Having anyone do anything beyond throw me out puts me in their debt and the last thing I want to do is abuse their openness and trust by gratifying myself during the process.

Anyway, I thought back to those memories of the first time I admitted it out loud. It was back in college. I was living away from my home town and no one knew me there. No chance of running into a salesgirl who might know me from high school or some other mortifying scenario. I gleefully mapped out all the possible lingerie sources and spent my freshman year using the metro transit system to visit each of them.

Every visit went either without a purchase, with a purchase for an unnamed person, or claiming they were for my girlfriend. While I had strong suspicions that some of the sales women guessed the truth, I was never confronted.

I had a habit of buying things that wouldn’t really fit once I tried to wear them back at the dorm. I really needed help without faking about some non-existent girlfriend.

The more I suadiye escort gathered my courage, the more excited I got. It really felt like butterflies in my stomach and my body was tingling. This morning, stepping into the Cacique, it all happened again.

I was approached by a sales girl. She was probably early twenties, pretty and very curvy. She could make good use of her employee discount and from the stylish jacket, cami, and jeans she was already there. Importantly, she was new since the last time I’d shopped there.

“Can I help you find anything?”

I froze for just a moment and felt my face begin to glow red. All the times I’d calmly shopped openly for myself disappeared and I felt like I was back in college: 19, scared, and thrilled.

“Um, yes,” I began and had to swallow. How many men did they help that were this nervous? Did a regular guy get that nervous around women’s lingerie or is that reserved for us sissies?

I felt my pulse throbbing in my throat and my stomach did a flip-flop.

“I was curious about those panties on the window mannequin…” I finally explained to her open and helpful face.

“Let me take a look. Which ones?”

“The, uh, satiny…” I stammered before stepping out of the store to point at the ones I wanted. She reached around the mannequin to get a good look and check the tag. I had to push myself mentally to walk back in.

The panties were gorgeous with a satin panel in front and sheer material full over the bottom. The front had a little satin bow, all of it in black. They were just the sort of delicious variation I was curious to try.

“I’m not sure how many of these we have left,” she explained, walking over to the front-most panty cabinets. “What size does she wear?”

I began to chicken out. “18/20, I think.”

“Let me go look and see if we have any in the back.”

She began to walk away and I took the plunge.

“Actually, I have a question,” I called to her, thirty feet away. I close the gap and lowered my voice. My heart was racing and my body was vibrating so much I was either going to be sick or have an orgasm. The fear, the daring, the opportunity to confess (in a way) to a woman was intoxicating… as good as I remembered from the first time.

I began to haltingly explain. “They are actually for me and I don’t know what my size is. Can you measure or something?” yakacık escort I know my face looked nervous and scared but even with all my experience, I really felt new at it again.

I’ll give her great credit. She only paused a little before responding. “Oh, well, usually it is by pants size.”

“I don’t have any women’s pants so I don’t know,” I fibbed although at that moment I couldn’t remember anything.

“What size men’s pants do you wear?”


“And what size shirt?”

“48 I think.”

She looked my body up and down with a surprisingly experienced gaze, from my jeans to my shirt under my coat.

“I think an 18/20 or a 22/24. Do you want me to look for both of those?”

“Yes, please!” I blurted in relief. There were women around us, but they were all far enough to at least feign ignorance of our conversation.

“Feel free to keep looking and I’ll let you know.”

“Thank you,” I said exuding genuine gratitude at her acceptance of my need of help. She patted my hand with an easy smile, “You’re welcome, honey.”

As she disappeared toward the back, I sort of wandered aimlessly. I looked for any more of their limited fancy satin styles at the front, knowing that the cabinets of basic styles would all be cotton or microfiber which I’ve never enjoyed.

My stomach calmed down about 5% so as I waited I was still riding a scary thrill.

She returned after a couple minutes carrying two panties. She laid them attractively on a display next to me.

“These have a lot of stretch,” she explained, pulling on one of the panties to show me. “I think 18/20 might fit you best.”

“Is there any way I can try them on? I just don’t know if they will fit or not.”

She hesitated which I expected. No serious business allows people to try on panties in the store.

“No but you could take it home and if it doesn’t fit you could return it with a receipt.” Later I would reflect that she had that wrong but in the moment I didn’t care.

“I guess I’ll try the 18/20,” I said picking up the desired panties. She led me back to their curved check out desk. Another saleswoman was helping a couple check out and discussing things with the man and woman. My system got another charge of thrill knowing that they could hear everything I would say.

When we got to the register I asked, “If I buy these now, could şerifali escort I try them on and see if they’ll fit me?” I felt my face flush a little as the woman next to me half-turned at my comment. She didn’t say anything but her face was caught in a surprised half-grin.

My assistant hesitated and turned back toward the dressing rooms. Making a quick decision, she replied, “Yes, we can do that.”

I paid for the panties with cash and declined to be put in their system. My wife is pretty cool about it all but doesn’t need lingerie mailers coming to the house in my name.

She led me back to the dressing rooms. There were five and two were occupied. She led me to the furthest one away from the others, knocked to ensure it was empty, and then let me in.

Once inside, it took me little time to strip from the waist down and take off the yellow satin bikini I’d been wearing. To pull on the new panties she’d suggested I dared to take it slow. I was still thrilled and I channeled all my excitement when pulling on panties.

I felt the sheer material draw up my shaved legs, drawing tighter as they came over my thighs. My cock was growing as I pulled the panties into place, trapping it. I looked at the impression my cock made against the satin panel as it stretched and my balls throbbed. Even fully erect and stretching the front, the panties hugged my bottom perfectly.

I stuffed the yellow panties in my pocket and got dressed again. Taking a deep breath to calm myself I ensured that my cock relaxed enough to not bulge in my jeans. Putting my coat back on I walked back out.

My helper was waiting by the sales desk with another saleswoman.

“How did they fit?” she asked happily. I was surprised to have the other saleswoman as part of the conversation but it just thrilled me more.

“Amazing, just right, they feel wonderful,” I babbled, flushing again. I felt so grateful to her for helping me and giving me this experience.

“Thank you so much,” I said with a hitch in my throat, my eyes sending nervous relief to her. She smiled wide, pleased. “What was your name?”


“Thank you, Danielle.”

“Did you want to look for more now?”

Realizing that I really was late, I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I have to go but I’ll be back very soon. Thank you, Danielle.”

“Enjoy,” she said and I still can’t tell if there was a wink in her expression or not. I had to have been reading into her face but if I wasn’t?

Still wearing the pretty black panties as I write this, I’ll definitely be going back to LB and my new friend, Danielle. There are more firsts for her to help me with (glee!)

Bir yanıt yazın

E-posta adresiniz yayınlanmayacak. Gerekli alanlar * ile işaretlenmişlerdir