The Vicar of St. Dunstan’s Ep. 06



Another slice of life at St. Dunstan’s; for background, please consult the previous episodes Third in a flock of four. Feedback welcome.


“Hello, Vicar, staying dry?” Sheila’s cheerfulness at the other end of the phone line belied the glum, grey early February day.

“No, Sheila, didn’t have that option. Had to visit the hospital this morning, then teach the seniors of the choir school about the mystery of the Trinity.”

“You did all that on a Monday? I thought you blokes only worked on Sunday.” Snickers cascaded down the line on the heels of that quip.

“Sheila Button, I ought to turn you over my knee and paddle your backside beet red for that remark. You of all people surely know better”

More snickers reached my ears, and Sheila continued lightheartedly: “Well, tonight may be your chance, Vicar. Remember just before Christmas when I asked you for some help with Jenny?”


“Well, she’s not working tonight, and Derrick’s up at the Library getting ready for exams. I thought I’d bring her round when I brought over your tea and we’ll teach her some of the finer things of life.”

I stared at the receiver dumbfounded. The subject came up, and I didn’t remember agreeing to it, but I didn’t disagree with it. Shaking my head to clear it, I remembered one of the few things I’d learned in my years of pastoral ministry: if you give an ambiguous answer, the other person is going to assume you agreed with them and act on it. “I don’t remember agreeing with this,” I finally said.

“I know you didn’t, you just said you’d think about it. Well, I don’t want you to think about it; I want you to do it. I’ve got a lovely steak and potato for your tea tonight; I’ll grill it medium rare, just as you like it, with sour cream for your baked potato and some lovely sprouts in fennel that you love. There’s a lovely California Merlot to go with it, and a beautiful apple pie with some brie for afters.”

My salivary glands cut in and began to argue for acceptance, but my mind wasn’t so sure. “Yes right, and I’ll take a photo series while you grill it for me wearing nothing but an apron.”


“Ah, you’re a treasure, Vic, that’s an idea good enough I wish I’d thought of it. Jenny’s just jumping up and down in excitement at the thought of coming round, like it’s Christmas all over again.”

“How’s the relationship with Derrick going? Is he on track to make the big commitment?”

Jenny cut into the conversation. “Yes, Vicar. I think he may pop the question as soon as Friday night. I can’t wait, I’m so eager I may get ahead of him.”

It was something that I already knew, but I couldn’t tell them. Derrick and I had been talking almost every other day, and he was so smitten with Jenny that he was looking for the right time to ask her to marry him. I finally sighed and said to them, “All right, I’ll do it. Come over anytime.”

“Be there in a tick.” Sheila said. “Pull back the sheets.”

I hung up the phone and looked out the window at the gloomy day. It was two in the afternoon, and this could last a while knowing Sheila. A banging downstairs reminded me that Percy Wilton was in the basement installing some exercise equipment for me in the new Recreation Room; I leaped down the stairs two at a time to speak with him.

Percy was brushing his hands after securing a bracket to the wall for my chin up station. He looked at me as I entered the room, and smiled. “Hello, Vicar. How’s it look?”

“Grand, Percy. Well Done.”

“Well, Vic, got a lot done so far today, had to move the walking machine across the room before I could get started. I figure that I can get the first three stations set up before five today, and we’ll get the whole thing done by the weekend. Stan’s over to help me tomorrow.”

I fidgeted a little. “You look tired, Percy. You wouldn’t be interested in calling it a day already, would you?”

He gave me a disbelieving look. “Well, I won’t say it hasn’t been tough on this thirty year old body with all the heavy lifting, but I can put in a full day’s work for a full day’s pay. I’m no slacker, Vic, I’m an honest man, particularly when I work for the Church.”

“And glad I am that you’re such a faithful son of the Church. But–the Bishop’s coming round any minute and I’d like some peace and quiet to deal with him.”

“Well, Vicar, that may be so, but there’s some quiet stuff I can do while he’s here. Needn’t bother you at all. You’ve got old Horace in your back pocket anyway, word on the street says, and you’ve nothing to fear from himself.”

I looked around and thought furiously. “Look, Percy, I need some space right now, and although I know you’re a good son of the Church, it would give me some peace of mind if you’d knock off early.” Pulling out my wallet, I drew out a twenty pound note: “Go collect Peggy and take her to a show, go the Pub and treat yourself to an early happy hour, whatever you want. I’ll pay you for a full day today.”

He took the note and looked it over. “Well, Vicar, I am feeling a little thirsty right now. Won’t call Peg; she almost wore me out last night, the little vixen, and I need some space to recover my manhood before I see her again. I’ll knock off right now if you want.”

“Grand, Percy, grand. If this doesn’t serve you, tell Johnny to put your drinks, and your drinks only, on my tab this evening, and I’ll look for you and Stan tomorrow morning.”

“Right, Vic, I’ll grab my hat and coat and I’m gone. Mum’s the word, and if there’s anything I can do for you, consider it done. Bye, Vic.” Percy almost had the light off and was out the door before I could turn and go back upstairs.

Sheila and Jenny bustled in the kitchen door with several bags, which they set down on the counter. They wore matching blue sweatsuits and sneakers under their coats, which struck me as rather odd attire considering the goal of the afternoon, but I let it pass. Quickly they unloaded their burdens on the counter, and Sheila then turned to give me a big hug and a kiss: “Hiya, Vicar.”

Jenny came over to press her whole body against mine, her protruding breasts poking against my chest, and gave me a long, deep kiss before pulling back to look deep into my eyes. “Hello, Father Alfred,” she said in a sultry voice.

Sheila swatted her on the shoulder. “I know you can do that bit, Jen, let’s get to work organizing supper before we have our lessons upstairs. Have a drink while we’re getting things together, Vic, and we’ll be ready for you shortly.” I got some ice from the icebox and poured myself a very stiff Scotch. Sitting at the table I got a view of the two women as they prepared a meal: like clockwork they had the potatoes in the oven; the sprouts and fennel in a steamer basket over a pot of water, ready for boiling; the rolls in a covered basket warming; the steaks laid out to come up to room temperature, and the grill inspected for readiness. It was amazing to see.

The tasks were done and Sheila turned to me. “I know you like to make love on an empty stomach, so let’s go about our business upstairs now. Ready, Jen.”

Jenny gave me a look and licked her lips. “Ready, Gran.” They preceded me up the stairs, and walked into my bedroom where Jenny peeled back the covers on my bed.

“All right, Jen, first lesson: taking off a man’s clothes. Your Derrick probably hasn’t needed much warming up, but after a while you may need to help jump start his engine. Taking off a man’s clothes is a wonderful way to get him interested if you do it right.”

Jenny knelt in front of me and started to unbuckle my belt. “No, no, no, Jen; you’re going too fast. It’s not a race to get him out before he pops his cork. Start with a kiss, a nice, gentle, long, deep kiss.” She stood up and put her arms around my neck, pulling me gently toward her and meeting my lips softly and sweetly. After a moment, she opened her mouth and our tongues met, dancing with one another in a wet duet. “Good, Jen, that’s a good start. You’ve got him interested. Now, while you’re Frenching him, pull his jacket back and off her arms, one at a time.” She pushed back my lapels and guided me out of the jacket, one arm at a time. Tossing it on the bed, she drew a reprimand, “Now Jen, don’t forget to see the big picture. You’re going to end up on the bed, so his clothes should go somewhere else. There’s a lovely chair on the other side, guide the clothes there.”

Sheila passed the jacket back to Jenny and she put it on the dressing chair. “Good girl, now you’ll have to unbutton his shirt. Unless you’re planning to date clergy, let’s stop and let the Vicar undo his dog collar himself.” We broke the kiss, and I reach back to undo the long, white, stiff collar, putting it on the dresser. Jenny pulled me back into a deep kiss, and her grandmother continued: “All right, first undo his sleeves, if you don’t do those you’ll never get the shirt off. Good girl, take your time. Now the other one. Grand. Now start at the top and work your way down. You may have to break the kiss but keep looking at him.” She broke the kiss and gave me a very sultry look as she unbuttoned my shirt. Pulling it back over my shoulders, she deposited it on the chair next to my jacket. “Now before you go back to an embrace, you need to pull off his t-shirt, just grasp it by the bottom and pull it up over his head. Grand. Now you can kiss him again.” Jenny clutched at me and pulled me forward so our mouths almost struck one another. “Not so fast, girl, take your time. You might hurt yourself that way. Back off and try again. Come in slow, yes, just like you did before.”

Our lips touched, and once again our tongues were entwined. “Now come a choice: do you want to take all his clothes off or do you match his state of dress?”

Jenny pulled back. “I’d like to match him, Gran.” She grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt and started to pull up when her grandmother stopped her.

“No, no, Jen. If you’re going to do that, take your time. It’ll build up more steam;tease him a little bit, make him savor the revelation. That’s right, yes, I like the turn away from him when the outer bit comes over your head. Now do the same thing with your t-shirt. Yes, girl, that’s it.”

Jenny was grinding her hips as she pulled her top up bit by bit. She turned and switched her weight back and forth, presenting one lovely buttock at a time, as her t-shirt went over her head, revealing a white bra. Reaching around to unclasp her bra, she let the straps pass over her shoulders before turning with her hands in front of her, holding up the bra and covering her breasts. The right hand threw the bra aside while the left covered her tits. She put her index finger in her mouth innocently in a moment of indecision before drawing her left hand away: her breasts were 36 C cups, sticking straight out and ending in two inch wide nipples, with no tan lines. Two golden bars graced her nipples, twin mementos of Wales, glinting in the afternoon light.

“Well done, Jen, you’ve really got him going now. See, he can barely keep his Willie in his pants.”

I turned to Sheila. “If we’re going to keep this even, you need to do your bit, Sheila. Let’s get your top off as well.” She gave me a saucy smirk, then pulled off her sweat suit top to reveal her slightly sagging boobs, graced by their set of bars installed in Wales the previous summer.

Sheila stood silhouetted by the daylight from the window over looking a brick wall. “All right, Vicar. We’re all even. Can we continue the lesson?”

“Sure, Sheila.” She came over to kneel in front of me, pulling my pants off and my boxers to release my nine inch penis. Jenny moved over and gasped as it came out and her eyes grew wide. Her grandmother grasped my erection gently and started moving up and down the length of my shaft. As Jenny continued to undress me, she kissed my knees as my trousers came completely off, and licked my feet as my socks were removed. Sheila looked on approvingly, continuing her stroke without missing a beat.

“Now, Jen. When you wank your bloke, you need to be gentle when you start. If you pull too hard, it’ll hurt and he’ll lose interest. Long strokes are nice, but mixing up some short strokes up toward the head is a nice change of pace. The best is when you use a circular motion: the nerve endings get anxious because they don’t know which will get tickled next. If you take your free hand down like this and juggle his balls very gently, it will turn him on even more. See how this is going: he’s getting a some moisture coming out of the slit. Smear this around and he’ll love you for it.” Jenny watched rapt at her grandmother’s technique, which I appreciated as well. “Now you try it.”

Jenny came to take her place, and tentatively grasped my cock and stroked it slowly up and down. She went with the circular motion right away, and my cock responded for me. Licking her lips, she brought them very close to the head while she reached under to juggle my balls while she varied her strokes between long and short. “The smell of his cock is really turning me on, Gran. This is wonderful. Can I lick it now?”

“Yes, Jen, but just run your tongue over the head and around the rim. Oh yes, he likes that, see how his knees are trembling? Don’t stop stroking him as you do this. Now work your way down the underside to the balls. Yes, take your hand away and lick his balls, a circular motion will get best results. How’s that Vic?”

“Wonderful, Sheila. Jenny is doing very well indeed.”

Sheila came over to stand next to us. “Now I want you to give me your finger. I’ll suck on your finger and you suck on his dick. Just do what I do and see what happens. Make sure and cover your teeth with your lips.” Jenny reached up with her right hand and put her index finger in her grandmother’s mouth. Then she took the head of my member in her mouth, running her tongue around the corona and across the slit, driving me crazy. Then she sucked more and more of my erection gently into her mouth, teasing the underside with her tongue. Sheila removed her granddaughter’s digit from her mouth and resumed her lecture: “Now, breathe through your nose and keep taking more and more in. Relax your jaw sweetie, it’ll go easier. That’s right, keep relaxing. Keep relaxing.” Jenny had gotten five inches down her gullet but seemed to stop there. “You’re not relaxed enough yet, sweetie.”

Jenny pulled off my dick and complained. “But Gran, it’s impossible to get a dick this big down anybody’s throat. Can you do it?

“Of course, sweetie. Let me show you.” Sheila took Jenny’s place in front of me on her knees, and her wise tongue started its worship of my cock. After a few swirling licks, she started sucking inch after inch into her hot mouth, working it deeper and deeper until her nose was in my pubic hair, which she held for several moments before letting me out again. “You have to fight the gag reflex when he gets that fair, control your breathing, as long as you can breathe, and relax. Just imagine that you’re swallowing him all the way down to your stomach and you’ll make it. You can pour a pint directly into your stomach; I’ve seen you do it at the Pub. It’s like that. Want to try again?”

“Sure, Gran.” They switched places and Jenny started licking my corona again, driving me crazy. She worked me down, breathing slowly and relaxing, pushing past her gag reflex and past where she had gone before, until her nose was in my public hair as her grandmother’s had been.

“Well done, Jen. If you can get the Vicar down, you can get your Derrick in there. He’s a bit longer but not thicker. Don’t hold him at the bottom longer than you can hold your breath; it’s not good form to pass out with a man’s cock all the way down your throat.” Jenny started to work her way out, flicking her tongue around my corona and staying there until the electricity started to build in my twin batteries. Just as the tingle started building there, Jenny reached out to gently roll them again, increasing the current.

I didn’t know where Sheila and Jenny wanted to go next, so I thought I should warn them. “Sheila, if she keeps up what she’s doing, I’m going to come.”

“And come you should, Vicar, you’ve lasted a wonderful long time so far. Jen, are you ready to finish the Vicar off in your mouth?”

“Mmm, mmmm.”

“All right, let’s have a try. You’ll tell he’s close by any noises he makes and more liquid that fills your mouth. Try to swallow it down and keep working with your tongue.” She held her thumb up and blinked her eyes. “As his breath gets faster, stop tonguing and just suck, still wanking him with your hand. When he gets to the end, it will seem that the dick will grow dramatically in your mouth; then is when you should get ready to swallow.”

Jenny may have been inexperienced, but her grandmother’s tutelage was turning her into a wonderful fellatiatrix. The current built and built in my battery pack; I held it back as long as I could before I released my discharge. Jenny eagerly sucked down every drop, tenderly squeezing my balls to milk me more. I almost fell down, the orgasm was so strong. She kept me in her mouth until I was limp again, when I sat down heavily on the bed while Jenny sat back on her heels in triumph, licking her lips.

I lay down on the bed, and reaching out, gave Sheila’s right nipple bar a tweak. Sheila turned to Jenny and said: “Jen, why don’t you run down to the kitchen and check the potatoes. It’ll take a while for the Vicar to recover and we’ll go through some other details.”

“Yes, Gran.” She bounced out of the room, her pert backside giving me a great demonstration in retreating of a firm, young ass.

Sheila gave me a deep kiss and stroked my chest. “Thanks, Vicar, you’ve been a gem so far. Did you have the talk with Derrick on oral sex?”

“Yes, it was a couple of days ago. We couldn’t manage a demonstration like this, but I gave him some ideas to get him started. The most important thing is communication: did you tell Jenny that?”

“You bet, Vicar.”

“And Jenny and Derrick haven’t had sex yet?”

“No, Vic. Your advice was excellent: they went on several dates and got to know and get comfortable with one another while they were falling in love. Do you think it’ll be all right if they have sex after they’re engaged?”

“In the culture of Christ’s time, betrothal involved conjugal rites; the wedding took place when the man was able to support a household. On the American frontier, couples would make a betrothal commitment and start living together with the agreement to make their vows when a minister got there. Sometimes, the children acted as witnesses to their parent’s wedding.”

“I see. Well, kids do almost everything with each other these days without even exchanging phone numbers, I guess. So you’re saying it’s all right after he pops the question.”

“Yes, I think so. Is Jenny really a virgin?”

“Yes, believe it or not. She’s never gone out with anybody more than three dates until Derrick, and I’m sure that they’re not doing anything more than French kissing and some groping. You’ve got Derrick pretty well programmed, and I’ve been keeping Jenny under wraps until now.”

“Are we going to show her what the positions are for normal sex?”

“Well, we’ll start, but I’m sure she’ll want to try a few things out herself.”

It gave me quite a start to contemplate what I would be doing. “Are you sure you two want me to do this?”

Sheila looked me very seriously. “Jenny’s told me that she’s dreamed of you taking her virginity; it means everything to her for some reason. She knows she doesn’t want to be a Vicar’s wife, and she wants to marry Derrick. I don’t know what’s going through her mind, but it’s harmless and it will mean a lot to her, even though she knows she can’t breathe a word of it, ever. You can say no if you want; I know I’ve made a poor case of it because I can’t describe how much this would mean to her, but I’ll do anything I can to persuade you, no matter what it would be. I’ll give you anything you may want for the house or a free trip, or a blow job every morning for the rest of your stay here; you can put me through any kind of perversion and broadcast it on the Internet if you want. This means the world to her”

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