The First Knock is the Hardest Ch. 03


This is the third in a series of stories following Ed and his adventures as a door-to-door salesman. You don’t need to have read chapter one but you might as well!

I hope you enjoy them and please do leave me feedback – it’s always welcome. All rights reserved, © Northern_One, 2013.

Things had quietened down for Ed since his little sojourn by the pool with Tilly. He’d taken her up on her offer of doing her in the shower which had then led to another offer of doing her in her bedroom. It was there, while she was riding him on her bed, with the trappings of her teenage life all around him – most pertinently her ballet certificates and gymkhana rosettes – that Ed had finally realised he probably shouldn’t have been doing what he was doing. Tilly was eighteen, so there was no problem legally but morally he felt he was on shakier ground. As her svelte teenage body bounced eagerly on top of him and her impossibly tight, bare pussy milked a third load from his tired balls he had made a decision to behave himself until he’d made enough money to pay for his onward ticket.

He didn’t want to leave but he’d heard enough stories about the strict immigration policies to know if he wanted to come back any time soon he shouldn’t outstay his welcome. Things had definitely been looking up recently. He’d made a good drinking and smoking buddy, if not necessarily a lifelong friend, in the Canadian, even if he still didn’t know what his name was. The Canadian had inspired him with the confidence to pick up on the signals from interested females and he’d already had some considerable success, what with Charlene the yummy mummy, and Tilly the spoiled daddy’s girl. Through the Canadian Ed had met the Hungarian dancer who had already provided him with a quite remarkable memory of his time in Australia and, he was reasonably sure, could provide more to come – as it were – if the Canadian would only relax a bit. As the horny Hungarian had brought the pair of them to the upper limits of ecstasy Ed had realised he was fine with being in the same room as another naked guy. In fact he’d enjoyed it and was hoping the girl’s suggestion of more fun with the two guys was a genuine one, but the Canadian was having trouble with the idea.

“I mean, yeah, getting head was awesome, dude, but we can’t do more. I mean; what if our dicks touched or something? Wouldn’t that be gay? I couldn’t even look at you, man,” the Canadian had told Ed over a cold one a couple of nights later.

Ed had brought the matter up on the off chance the Canadian had managed to come to terms with seeing an engorged member that belonged to someone else.

“Jesus, man. It’s not you I’m interested in, it’s her. This has to be the chance of a lifetime. The opportunity to fuck an amazingly hot girl together? It’s like, fucking, porn shit.”

The Canadian’s horizons remained insufficiently broadened, however. “Sorry, dude. I just can’t. I don’t mind if you fuck her though.”

“I’m not gonna fuck your girl. I wouldn’t do that. Anyway, she doesn’t want to fuck just me, she wants us both. Man the fuck up. Take one for the team. Wear a fucking blindfold, I don’t care!”

The Canadian had shaken his head apologetically and sloped off to buy another jug of beer. Ed sighed and sat back in his chair, rueing his buddy’s lack of faith in his own sexuality. I mean, Ed thought, surely he’s seen dude’s dicks in porn. What was the big deal?

The next day, as Ed sat in the font of the battered minibus that was dropping off the various door-to-door sellers, he reminded himself of the task ahead of him: to earn the last couple of hundred bucks he needed to buy his ticket. Fantasies of threesomes with comically beautiful exotic dancers would have to remain just that. The first knock of the day was his priority and that was something that hadn’t got any easier no matter how high his confidence was.

He hadn’t been paying much attention to where they were going. Over the weeks that he’d been doing this job he’d come to realise it didn’t pay to plan ahead too much. He had no control over where he was sent, that was left to the wide-boy owners of the outfit and there was no point in stressing over being sent to a difficult patch. One of the owners, a thin, wiry Irishman called Declan was beside him in the driving seat. As they drove towards yet another identikit residential area it took Ed a moment to realise Declan was talking to him.

“Ed, you dozy fucker. Did you hear me?”

“No, sorry. What?”

“Fuck’s sake,” Declan drawled.

How he’d made so much money in sales was beyond Ed who was only now getting used to the thick Cork accent. He felt sure it was the piercing green eyes and general air of barely contained violence that did it rather than any slick patter.

“You know you could be a top boy if you put a bit more into it, Eddie-lad. You need to give a hundred and ten, not ninety nine or a hundred. It’s gotta be a hundred and ten in this game.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d hear his name mentioned as a potential ‘top boy’. He eyed İstanbul Escort Declan’s cheap shoes and polyester shirt as the ancient van struggled up a slight incline. The prospect didn’t fill him with much passion. Ed hadn’t bothered telling anyone he was leaving the following week, he couldn’t bear the thought of the talk of “bottling it” and his “not having the stones for the big time” that came the way of anyone who had the temerity to leave. Big time, my arse, Ed thought.

“I said, you’re with the newbie today,” Declan told him, jerking a thumb towards the back of the minibus. “Fresh off the plane. Show ’em how it’s done, big man.”

“Great,” muttered Ed, not bothering to look round. Showing a newbie the ropes was one of the downsides of being relatively good at the job. Newcomers usually had no idea what the role entailed, the management having told them as little as possible beforehand so as not to scare them off before they even started. For Ed it meant having a shadow for the entire day, having to explain what he was doing and why, and having to try and convince the hapless soul that it was actually possible to make some money. The newbie wouldn’t be paid, of course, and not many showed up again the next day. The team was shrinking, though, and Ed would be expected to make the job seem appealing enough for the newcomer to come back. In the past Ed had had people quit after twenty minutes, only to realise they were miles from home and without any means of getting back until the minibus showed up at the end of the day. The job was shit enough without a gormless newcomer making it harder.

By the time he was standing on the baking concrete pavement with the minibus belching its smoky way towards its next drop-off point Ed had to admit his mood had lightened somewhat. His companion for the day was a pretty English backpacker who introduced herself with a beaming smile as Katrina, or Kat, for short. It wasn’t only her smile, her neat blonde bob and her blue eyes that had cheered Ed up. One of the biggest problems Ed had with having a newbie alongside was that they were usually clueless, scruffy fuckwits who were more likely to repulse customers than charm them. Kat, however, wore a smart fitted white blouse showing just a hint of cleavage, a tight dark grey skirt, and a pair of cream kitten-heeled court shoes that looked as though she might actually be able to walk in them. Looking, as she did, like a smart office worker, Ed wondered what the hell she was doing here, sampling the delights of a door-to-door career. Still, she wasn’t going to scare anyone off and, he supposed, might even be a bit of an advantage if it came to any lustful male customers.

Ed and Kat had exchanged pleasantries and swapped the usual backpacker information – where they were from, where they’d been, next adventures, and so on. Kat was from Manchester, had just done Vietnam, Laos, Thailand and Cambodia, and was in Australia for six months – if she could find a job, of course. She had dropped a point in Ed’s esteem by saying she’d “done” anywhere, as if it was something to be ticked off a list, but he knew he was shallow enough for her figure, hair and smile to outweigh the odd foible.

Their patch for the day looked an average one. Not as well-to-do as Tilly’s suburb but not a total dump, either. There was a faint smell of cement dust in the air and the houses looked almost brand new. The two of them walked towards the first door of the day. Ed, full of confidence after his recent sexual conquests and with the Canadian’s mantra foremost in his thoughts, knew he couldn’t show any weakness in front of Kat.

“Okay, here we go. It’s probably best if you hang back for the first few doors to see what it’s all about.” He turned to her, gave her a friendly grin and knocked.

“Fuck off!” a voice shouted through the screen door.

“Will do,” Ed called back.

“Charming,” Kat said.

They were about a dozen doors down with nothing to show for their efforts. Hardly anyone had been at home and those that were hadn’t shown the slightest interest. Ed didn’t think he was doing a great job of impressing Kat and an even worse one of showing her what a great job this really was.

“Is it always like this?” she asked as another door closed in their face.

“No, this is particularly bad,” Ed replied. “It’ll pick up, don’t worry.”

Kat smiled optimistically. They were passing a little grassed area with a couple of eucalyptus trees and a bench. Ed nodded towards it. “Let’s take a break.”

Despite his financial pressures and promise to himself to concentrate on selling not shagging, Ed couldn’t help noticing that Kat was most definitely his type. She wasn’t flaunting her biggish boobs and shapely bum, nor her long legs, but they were most definitely there, nevertheless, and Ed surreptitiously admired them. As they sat in the shade his mind wandered. If he could convince her it was a job worth doing then his last few days could be made much more interesting.

“I know it doesn’t make much difference Anadolu Yakası Escort to me, but shouldn’t we push on? How about I come to the door with you next time so I can hear your pitch better?”

Kat had snapped him from his daydream, catching him mid-fantasy.

“Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Let’s go,” Ed said loudly, springing to his feet.

“So what we’re looking for is at least three yesses in a row,” Ed explained as they approached the next door. “Keep them positive, keep them interested. It’s the sales orgasm – yes, yes, yes!”

“Oh yeah?” Kat giggled. “I’ll have to remember that one”.

Ed silently congratulated himself on making her laugh. At least some things were looking positive. He banged on the next door and winked at Kat. “Okay, watch and learn.”

“Hi there,” he said breezily to the middle-aged man who opened the door.

“G’day,” the man said then looked at Kat.

“We’re in the area today with a great deal on cinema tickets. Are you a movie-goer, sir?”

“Yeah, I am,” the customer said, his gaze moving downwards to Kat’s bosom.

“That’s great, me too, especially when it’s so hot. I love the air con in there.” Ed said. “Well, as I’m sure you’d agree the cinema is pretty pricey these days, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” the man said.

Ed was feeling good. The man was warming up nicely. “And you probably don’t get to go as often as you’d like?”

“Well, I guess not, no. I mean yeah.” Kat’s appearance was receiving a thorough appraisal. She smiled sweetly.

Ed laughed and grinned encouragingly. “That’s great. Well, we have a fantastic money-saving deal today. Could I interest you in making a purchase?”

The man licked his lips and nodded, finally looking at Ed. “Yeah, sure. I’ll take a bunch.”

“Excellent,” said Ed. “Now, if I can just take some details.”

“Wow, he came pretty hard,” Kat laughed as they walked down the drive, Ed folding the notes into his wallet.

“See what I mean?” Ed said, flipping a page on his clipboard to see where the next street was. “At least three yesses.”

“Yes,” Kat nodded slowly. “I’m definitely learning from the master.”

Ed laughed modestly. “I wouldn’t say that, exactly, but that was a good pitch. Lots to take from it.” He looked across the road and pointed. “Right. Let’s go.”

Ed’s fortunes had definitely improved as the morning had gone on. He knew having a pretty girl with him didn’t hurt but his pitches were all going well and he’d sold plenty. He’d done almost as well with women as with men, so Kat’s presence couldn’t really be the reason. The Canadian’s advice about picking up on signals had been, as ever, floating around his thoughts and Ed had been musing to himself about the parallels between seducing a woman and persuading a customer. It was all about asking the right questions and looking out for those tell-tale signs, he thought. Judging by his recent successes in both arenas he was doing pretty well, even if he said so himself. After another successful visit to a door, Ed decided it was time for another little break.

“Can I have a go next?” Kat asked, as they leaned against a shady wall.

It wasn’t really the done thing to let a newbie loose on customers on their first day but Ed couldn’t see the harm in allowing her a couple of goes, even if it was only so Kat could learn for herself how hard the job really was.

“Sure, why not?” Ed said, handing her the clipboard. “You want me to come with you?”

“I’m a big girl, Ed. I’ll be okay. The sales orgasm, right?” Kat smiled and gave him a wink.

She turned and crossed the road. Ed watched her bum move under the tight fabric of her skirt. If that hadn’t been a sign, what was?

Ed watched from afar as Kat began talking to the woman at the door. She had lasted thirty seconds which was usually a good sign and Ed’s thoughts wandered again, recalling his recent escapades with the opposite sex. Yes, he’d been following the Canadian’s advice and looking out for signals of attraction but now he thought about it, he hadn’t actually made the first move. Charlene had pretty much seduced him, the Hungarian girl had given him very little choice, and Tilly had set him up entirely. Maybe it was time he took the initiative. Just imagine how much sex he could be having if he was more aggressive in his advances, rather than waiting for the girls to start things. Kat waved goodbye to the woman and skipped down the drive towards him.

“Never mind an orgasm, I must’ve hit her G spot!” Kat shouted as she bounced towards him, brandishing three crisp notes. “Sixty dollars! Wow, that felt great!” Kat threw her arms around him and hugged him with joy.

“That’s amazing. You’re a natural!” said Ed, briefly squeezing Kat’s ample chest to his own.

This, was a great opportunity, Ed thought, grinning at the beaming blonde. His eyes travelled down her shapely form. A surge of tingly excitement rushed through him at the thought of feeling her body through the business-like outfit. His groin fizzed Üsküdar Escort in anticipation. It was all he could do to stop himself grabbing at her breast right now.

They started walking along the pavement toward the next house, Kat almost skipping with glee at her bonanza, chatting excitedly about her sale. “There’s a real rush, isn’t there? When I realised she was interested I got a great buzz. It’s like a proper thrill, do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, absolutely, it’s like a physical sensation isn’t it?” he agreed. She was talking about getting a thrill. That was another definite signal. He wasn’t imagining it, she was totally up for it. As Kat chatted all Ed could think about was how he was going to make his move. His cock was growing in his trousers at the thought.

The road they were on was on the edge of the residential area. At the end of the street was wild scrubland. Tall weeds and the odd spindly tree gave the land some meagre greenery but otherwise it was rock and dust and the odd pile of discarded bricks left over from the construction of the estate. Kat was a little way ahead of him when she dropped the voucher she was carrying and bent to retrieve it. Her round, tightly-clad arse pointed at Ed as he approached. She must have been doing it on purpose. His cock got harder and another wave of sexual energy rushed through him. He’d always regret it if he didn’t. He took his chance.

“You’ve got a lovely arse, you know.” Ed ran his hand down the middle of Kat’s bottom, pressing his finger firmly against her arsehole.

Kat yelped in surprise and stood up. She turned to Ed.

“What the fuck?” she shouted. “Get your fucking hands off me!”

“C’mon, let’s find somewhere for a quick fuck,” he said, indicating the scrubland. “No one’ll see.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’re a fucking pervert,” she yelled.

“Come on. You know you want to, it’ll be horny.” Ed stepped towards her.

“I do fucking not! Don’t come anywhere near me!”

Ed stopped, she sounded like she meant it. “Don’t you fancy me, then?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“No, you arrogant prick, I’ve got a boyfriend. Jesus, what kind of freak are you? What would make you think I fancy you? And even if I did, why the fuck would I fuck a stranger on a bit of fucking waste ground?”

“You didn’t say you had a boyfriend,” Ed said feebly.

“You didn’t ask, you fucking knobhead!” she yelled.

She was right. It hadn’t occurred to him for a second to ask, so convinced as he was of her signals and his newfound way with women.

She pulled her phone out. “You’re a fucking prick. You can shove your shitty job up your fucking arse!” She marched off, throwing the vouchers on the ground and putting the phone to her ear. Her call was answered. “Hiya babe… Have you bought that car yet? …Oh thank fuck… Yeah, can you come and pick me up?”

Ed sat on the kerb where Kat had stormed off. He knew what he’d done was out of order. His judgment had been seriously impaired by the cocktail of confidence and hormones and he’d obviously misread the situation quite catastrophically. Kat wouldn’t be back tomorrow, that was clear, but Ed felt genuine contrition. He wasn’t the kind of bloke who went round mauling women and treating them like objects, he was just a randy guy who had had a lot of unexpected sex recently and thought he could have some more. He wondered if the Canadian had ever come on too strong like that. Of course he had, he just didn’t worry about the knockback; there would always be failed efforts and collateral damage.

Ed climbed to his feet and dusted off the seat of his trousers. He told himself to put it behind him and get on with the day. He was supposed to be concentrating on making money anyway but he couldn’t help but feel like a right dick.

His financial situation was not improving as rapidly as he needed it to. Since Kat’s departure he’d only made a couple of small sales. He was an arrogant prick, Kat was right. And it seemed pretty clear that the successful morning had been down to her rather than his killer pitch. He cringed at the thought of the sales orgasm. He trudged his way up yet another drive, past a shining navy blue restored 70s-era ute and rapped his knuckles on the screen door.

The door was opened by a woman a couple of years older than Ed.

“Hi there,” he began. “My name’s Ed and I’m…”

“Hi, Ed,” the woman said with a smile. “What can I do for you?”

Being interrupted threw Ed and he stopped to begin his pitch again. His eyes drifted over the woman. She was average height, had straight highlighted blonde hair, parted to one side and reaching past her shoulders and dark, almost kohl eyeliner around her steely-blue eyes. A small silver nose stud shone in the sunlight. Her left arm was covered from shoulder to elbow in a huge, brightly coloured tattoo of, from Ed’s brief glance, a kind of jungle scene with big cats, entwined serpents, exotic birds and almost certainly much more. His eyes hadn’t lingered long on the tattoo, however, because of the three open buttons on the woman’s already low-cut grey sleeveless top and the substantial cleavage on show. Remembering the morning’s debacle he forced himself to look up, meeting her gaze once more to find her still smiling enigmatically.

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