Oddball Ch. 05


*Disclaimer: Any persons engaging in sexual activity are at least eighteen years of age.

Chapter 1

James Kowalski sat at the desk and seethed. Because of that stupid bitch wife of his calling the fucking cops out to their home, he was on ‘Desk Duty’ until the fucking investigation was over.

And he still couldn’t believe that son of his, hitting him. He could see that he’d have to teach that boy a little thing or two about respect.

He looked at his uniform sleeve; there was a spot on it. Barbara Chastaine was a horrible homemaker. Her cooking was horrible; the woman couldn’t cook anything that didn’t come out of a can, and her cleaning skills left a lot to be desired too. Thank God she liked to suck cock. That she was good at.

Two officers walked by, smirking. James gritted his teeth. How many times had he walked by when one of his fellow officers had been busted down to desk duty, smirking? Or if the guy was low enough on the totem pole, making snide comments? Well, it weren’t too damned nice, being on the other side of that smirk.

He smirked himself; Dennis, his partner, had been shackled with that new recruit, Eric ‘Erica’ Miller. It was a well-known fact that the kid was a fag. He wondered how Dennis was going to like being in a vehicle for eight to ten hours with a fruit loop.

Charles Villeaux, his supervisor, strolled by and James fought the urge to give the smug bastard the finger.


Mary smiled as she heard Thomas’ truck pull up in front of the house. Dutifully, she kissed her mother and father good-bye and raced out of the house.

‘The Hating Tree’ blared out of the speakers and she smiled; it was her second favorite song. ‘Shadow Girl’ was her most favorite, but Thomas liked autumn’s first cd more.

“Hi Baby,” he smiled as she hoisted herself up onto the bench seat.

“I love when you call me that,” she smiled and got onto her knees, putting her small face level with his.

They shared a quick kiss, and then he put the truck into drive.

“Oh, I’m not going to be able to ride home with you today,” she suddenly remembered. “We got to go to this lawyer’s office right after school.”

“Lawyer’s office?” Thomas asked. “Suing me?”

“Yes,” Mary teased back. “You don’t kiss me enough, or tell me you love me enough, so you’re getting it, buddy.”

He pulled the truck to a stop and grabbed the giggling girl and pulled her over to him.

“I love you,” he declared, and then kissed her repeatedly.

“There, How’s that?” he said and released her.

“Ah, it’ll do, I guess,” she said, feigning resignation.

“Shut up,” he laughed and put the truck into drive again. “So, why you going to a lawyer’s office?”

Mary looked at the floor of the truck, not trusting her voice. Finally she looked up.

“My uncle, he had a will and we’re going to the reading of it,” she said.

She took off her oversized glasses and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her dress.

“Why, Thomas?” she sobbed, not expecting an answer. “Why did he have to die?”

“I don’t know, Baby,” he said. “If I had the answers, I’d give it to you, but I just don’t know.”

“I mean, I should be happy for him; I know he’s in Heaven,” Mary sobbed. “Reverend Smith says he’s not, because he wasn’t born again of the Holy Spirit but I refuse to believe that a loving and merciful God that loved us so much that He would send His only begotten son to die for our sins would not welcome my uncle into His Kingdom.”

“I’m sure he’s in Heaven, Baby,” Thomas said and pulled into the school parking lot.


Barbara Chastaine was nervous. She had never in her life imagined herself as being ‘the other woman.’

She opened the car door and pulled the wheelchair out from behind her seat and locked it open.

“Can I give you a hand?” Theresa Kowalski asked. “I mean, if you’re at the wrong address, I’d hate for you to go through all that, just to have to get back in your car again.

“You’re Theresa, right? Theresa Kowalski?” Barbara asked, her heart in her throat.

“Yes,” Theresa answered, a little puzzled.

“I’m her,” Barbara admitted, ashamed, unable to look at the woman. “I’m the one’s been, you know, with um, with James.”

She slid into the seat and locked the armrest up.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Theresa said.

James was so intolerant of any sign of weakness. Any sign of inferiority was crammed down the other person’s throat until they just gave up.

“Look, I don’t blame you if you don’t want to talk to me,” Barbara was mumbling.

“Come on in,” Theresa decided. “I’ll make us a pot of coffee.”

Less than an hour later, Theresa was laughing heartily. Barbara looked very unhappy, almost a little angry.

“No, no, Honey,” Theresa, laughed. “You wanted him, you got him! Enjoy!”

“Look,” Barbara admitted. “It was all fine and dandy when we was just fucking around; we’d fuck, have a few beers, then he’d go home and that was that.”

“A lot different when he’s in your face the whole damned time, huh?” Theresa smiled.

“Yeah!” Barbara agreed. Maltepe Escort “Damn! All he does is complain! I don’t cook right, I don’t clean right, lately I don’t do nothing right!”

“Honey, welcome to my world,” Theresa sympathized. “I don’t do anything right either.”

“Really?” Barbara groused. “Should hear him. ‘Theresa didn’t cook no soup out the fucking can!’ and ‘Theresa never let a button get loose.’ And I’m telling him, ‘Damn, she’s so fucking perfect, what you doing here?'”

“Honey, you made your bed,” Theresa smiled and sipped her coffee.

“Yeah, well I thought I was in love with him,” Barbara admitted. “Now, I don’t even LIKE the mother fucker.”


John found it very hard to concentrate. In just a few hours, he’d find out if he even had a job any longer.

“Trust God,” his wife told him.

“Trust God,” his sponsor told him.

“You know what?” John said, looking up at the ceiling. “You’ve been doing a pretty damned good job so far, take it. Take all of it.”

He felt an odd sense of calm come over him, a feeling of comfort. Job or no job, he’d be all right. He got busy on the unmarked police car that Charlie Villeaux had brought in.

The outside of the car looked like it had been in a few fender benders a few scrape here and there. The engine, however, was an impressive piece of machinery. It was designed to outrun most stock automobiles. John loved when Charlie brought his vehicles in for maintenance. His fingers began to do their work and he suddenly smiled and looked back up at the ceiling.

“You’re right,” he said. “It will be all right.”


Britney smiled her dazzling smile as Mary came out to the oak tree to eat her lunch and playfully flashed her panties at her girlfriend. Mary was shocked at first, then laughed out loud and sat down next to Britney.

“Jezebel,” Mary said.

“Hi,” Britney laughed and kissed Mary quickly.

“Hi,” Mary repeated and dug into her lunch bag for her sandwich.

“You’re going to see Prejean, huh?” Britney asked.

“Yeah, you know him?” Mary asked.

“Yeah, he goes to our church, he’s an ass hole,” Britney said.

“Britney!” Mary exclaimed, shocked.

“Well, he is!” Britney defended.

“What makes you say that?” Mary asked, curious.

She scooted closer to Britney to give Thomas room to sit down. John Ridgelow made Mary laugh as he quickly sat down next to her, preventing Thomas from sitting next to her. He laughed and got up and sat next to Britney.

“Okay, he’s married, right?” Britney said. “But you know, after Mass, he’s all staring at your boobs, and checking out your ass, and his wife’s standing right there, and he’s always wanting to hug you, trying to cop a feel.”

Britney shudder at the thought of it.

“Hey, I’d try copping a feel if I could,” John Ridgelow admitted.

“Yeah, well it’s a little different,” Britney, said to him. “You’re not like a hundred years old and stuff.”

“Oh?” John smirked. “So I can cop a feel?”

“And I’ll knock you out,” Britney threatened, fist balled up.

“Can I cop a feel?” Thomas whispered in Mary’s ear and she laughed and shook her head no.

“Not out here,” she giggled.

Her boyfriend was on one side; her girlfriend was on the other side. Mary felt very lucky indeed.

“How about him?” John asked Britney, pointing to Oscar as Oscar stumbled across the field toward them. “He gets to cop a feel?”

“Anytime, anywhere,” Britney agreed.

“I hate you,” John said.

“Yeah, whatever,” Britney laughed and nudged John to scoot over.


Theresa drove into Los Angeles at the tail end of the morning rush hour. She drove in silence; the poor reception in the car’s radio just made her headache worse. She drove cautiously; even though she was from Los Angeles, she did not feel comfortable.

Chapter 2

Kenneth Prejean made the family sit and wait. As far as he was concerned, they could sit and wait. They certainly did live up to their name, Farmer. The father looked uncomfortable in his ill-fitting suit, and the mother looked as though she’d never heard of make-up. Even the daughter looked like an old hag in her long dress.

Finally, he felt that he had bordered on rudeness long enough and buzzed his receptionist to bring them in.

For several long moments he waxed poetic about Mr. George Farmer, a good client and a good man.

Finally, John interrupted him.

“Um, hey, Mr. Prejean, you might not have anything else to do, but I had to close the garage early, my wife had to leave work early, and had to run down to school to get Mary so we could be here for four o’clock as agreed upon. Then you make us sit and wait for forty-five minutes for no good reason, and now you just want to run your mouth? Why don’t you just read the will so we can go?” John finally said.

Mary was agreeing with Britney’s evaluation of Kenneth Prejean; the man was an a** hole.

Leah was mighty proud of her man.

Kenneth felt the color rise in his cheeks. He did, however, get the file out of his desk drawer and Anadolu Yakası Escort open it.

“I, George Allen Farmer…” Kenneth began.


James looked at the few suitcases by the door, and then looked at Barbara.

“What the fuck’s all this shit?” he bellowed.

“Your shit,” Barbara said, summoning up her courage. “I’ve had enough, James. I don’t cook right, I don’t clean right, well, mother fucker, go find you a woman that does.”

“Well, good luck in finding yourself a man, bitch,” he sneered.

“Fuck, after you, what I want with a man?” she sneered back. “God, just give me some fucking peace and quiet.”

Grumbling and muttering threats and curses, James Kowalski left his lover’s apartment.

He checked into the DeGarde Rest Inn. He wanted to hit the obviously homosexual clerk when the kid asked him if he was staying an hour or all night, or they did rent rooms by the week.

He was about to snap that he was only going to be there for one night when it hit him. He had nowhere to go.

“And how much is it by the week?” he asked, defeated.


Dinner was still a quiet affair at the Kowalski house; years of training aren’t undone overnight. At least they could eat without holding their breath, though.

Finally, Theresa sat back and sighed.

“Well, now, his is nice,” she commented.

Thomas and Jim looked at her for a long moment.

“Yeah, yeah it is,” Jim agreed.

“Um, hey Mom, I uh, you think I could bring Mary over here one night, you know, for dinner?” Thomas asked.

“I’d love that,” Theresa agreed.

“”And, hey, Jim, why don’t you bring your latest boyfriend?” Thomas teased.

“‘Cause I’m tired of you always trying to steal them, bitch,” Jim snapped.

“Yeah, whatever,” Thomas laughed.

“But I was thinking, you bring Mary, I’ll bring Melissa,” Jim offered.

“I think I’d really like that,” Theresa agreed.


Mary knelt by the side of her bed and begged God His forgiveness.

“But it had felt so good to see the shocked look on that arrogant Mr. Prejean’s face.

“As I assume that the child Mary Farmer is still a minor, she will be needing an executor, so I took the liberty of drawing these provisions up,” he’d intoned.

“But I am not a minor,” Mary corrected him. “And even if I was, I certainly would not let you handle my estate. Not when I have two parents here, and they are much more qualified than you to decide what’s in my best interest.”

“Well, I uh, I,” he had stammered, stunned at her forthrightness.

“Is there anything else? Anything we need to sign?” Mary went on.

“Well, um, uh no, no, we’re done here,” Mr. Prejean admitted.

“Good,” Mary said and got down from the uncomfortable chair. “Then good bye.”

“God I know I should not have taken such pleasure in knocking that man off of his high horse; that is not my place,” Mary prayed, but couldn’t help but giggle.

The man had looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing, eyes bugging out.

“I would suspect he is not used to people talking to him in such a manner,” Mary smiled, and then chided she.

“God, why did Uncle George leave me everything?” Mary asked aloud.

“Because he loved you,” John answered.

“I know, but Daddy, EVERYTHING?” Mary asked.


“Britney, I swear to God,” Allison warned.

“Got to go, love you, bye,” Britney told Oscar and hung up her cell phone.

“Okay, who wants to say the grace tonight?” Allison asked.

“Oh, come on, Mom,” Tiffany complained. “We don’t have to say grace at every meal, do we?”

“Yes we do,” Allison said. “Your friend is right, it is food, it does nourish our bodies, and it does need to be blessed.”

They held hands and waited. Finally, Charlie said a quick blessing and they ate.

“Can Mary spend the night again on Friday night?” Britney asked.

“Fine with me,” Allison shrugged her shoulders.

“Thank you Mom,” Britney smiled.


“Oh, my goodness, really?” Mary asked.

“Yeah, Thursday night okay?” Thomas asked.

“Well, I got to ask my Momma, but I’ll let you know, okay?” Mary said and hung up.

Leah agreed that Mary could eat dinner at the Kowalskis’ house and warned the girl to behave herself.

“Mary’s phone,” John teasingly said as he answered the phone.

Britney laughed at that and asked if Mary was home.

“Daddy!” Mary laughed, as John let ‘her majesty’ knows that there was yet another phone call for her.

“Well, I got to ask my Momma, Mary said when Britney asked her if she wanted to spend the night on Friday night.

“Whatever it is, go ahead,” Leah said.

“Okay, my Momma said yes,” Mary, laughed into the phone.


The setting sun reflecting off of the ocean was a beautiful sight indeed. The water looked like liquid gold in the light, the waves capped with silver crests. Theresa sat and looked out at the sun, hoping to burn her eyes, hoping to burn the image of lily permanently out of her mind.

Everywhere she looked, Ümraniye Escort Lilly was shadowing her. A group of girls strolled by, dressed in ridiculously revealing bikinis. Blood sporty from her chest, staining her bikini, Lilly looked at Theresa accusingly.

She stared intently into the sun.

“Hey, want a beer?” a very hairy man, dressed in an ill-fitting pair of swim trunks asked her.

“Yeah,” Theresa agreed.

She did; she was extremely thirsty.

Lilly handed her the can, her blood dripping off of her arm onto Theresa’s thigh.

“Thank you,” Theresa said, closing her eyes against the horrifying image.

“Hey, hey, anything for a beautiful little red head,” the guy smiled, revealing a few vacant spots where his teeth had rotted away.

Chapter 3

Theresa Kowalski smiled warmly at the small girl. She also thanked God that James wasn’t there. If he’d had a few beers in him, he’d be making rude, suggestive comments, embarrassing the sweet girl. If he’d been in the bourbon, he’d be ugly, hurtful to the dear child.

Theresa was surprised when a very nervous Jim brought an equally nervous Melissa to the home. The girl was nothing like the other girls Jim had dared bring home; the girl had absolutely no shape at all. James would have been very quick to point out her lack of breasts, would have been quick to point out her pimples and her large nose.

He would not have been too quick to point out her sweet smile, or the loving looks she cast at Jim.

He would not have been very quick to point out that Mary did not pay any attention to Theresa’s protests that she needed no help in the kitchen. He wouldn’t have pointed out the girl’s mixing together a batch of biscuits while the stew was simmering.

He would have pointed out Mary’s ‘making that boy a sissy’ as she pressed Thomas into duty, making him cut the dough into biscuits.

He wouldn’t have pointed out that Melissa set the table and poured the ice tea while Mary got the hot biscuits onto a plate.

He also would not have pointed out that Mary hugged her, hugged Melissa, hugged Jim and thanked everyone for a wonderful meal.

Taking her cue from Mary, Melissa also hugged everyone before Jim took her home.

“I um, my family doesn’t hug like yours,” Melissa admitted to Theresa. “I can’t tell you how nice it is to be with y’all.

“”We don’t hug either,” Theresa would have told her.

Instead, she hugged the girl again.

“Well, Honey, any time you need a hug, come on over,” she laughed.

“Dude, Mary is gorgeous,” Jim told Thomas when he returned from dropping Melissa off.

“Dude, you don’t get extra credit for stating the obvious,” Thomas smiled. “But, you know what? I like Melissa. She’s pretty gorgeous too; I like her a lot. She’s perfect for you.”

“They are both very sweet young ladies,” Theresa agreed.

“Dude, you’re not just saying that, huh?” Jim asked.

“No, man, I think she’s all right,” Thomas said.


“God, we played like dog shit,” Tiffany complained as they piled into the car.

“That was terrible!” Britney screamed.

“Well, thank goodness that’s over,” Mary agreed.

By the time they reached the Wertmullers’ home, they were laughing and chattering again. Allison smiled as the three girls barged into the house.

“So?” she asked. “How’d the Bull Dogs do?”

“Terrible!” Britney and Tiffany screamed. “Thirty eight to three!”

:Ooh, that hurts,” Allison winced. “Think maybe a couple of banana splits might make it a little better?”

“Maybe,” Britney said.

“A little,” Tiffany agreed.

“Banana splits?” Mary asked, breathless with anticipation. “I’ve never had one of those!”

“Well, think you can say the grace while I fix them up?” Allison asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Mary agreed as she trio scrambled into their seats at the breakfast table.

“If we get them every time the Bull Dogs lose,” Mary told Allison, face a mess of whipped cream and chocolate syrup, “I hope we lose every gave from now on.”

“Mary!” Britney screamed and slapped her on her arm.

“You like that, huh?” Allison smiled.

“Yes ma’am,” Mary said.

“You should see your face,” Britney laughed as she led the way into her bathroom.

Mary looked in the large mirror and burst into laughter; her face was a mess.

“I love you,” Britney admitted and hugged the girl tightly.

“Love you too,” Mary admitted.

The two girls kissed softly, holding each other tightly.

“Come on, you’re all sticky,” Britney said and lovingly took Mary’s big glasses off. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

The two girls got into the large shower and started their showers. Mary closed her eyes and tilted her head up for the hot spray to clean off her face.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to do,” Britney whispered in Mary’s ear.

“What’s that?” Mary asked.

In answer, Britney pulled Mary down to the tiled floor of the shower and then stood and adjusted the showerheads so they sprayed a gentle, wide spray onto the prostrate girl.

“Like making love in the rain,” Britney whispered into Mary’s ear as she lay down next to her lover.

It was bliss, having the warm spray playing over her body while Britney’s warm mouth licked and sucked her sensitive nipples. She couldn’t help but giggle as Britney’s lips tickled her ribs.

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