Broken Toys


Author’s Note:

1) A special thanks to 1moeannie for all of her work with the proofreading and editing.

2) All Characters in this work are 18 years of age or older.

3) This story does not accurately represent Mental Health Treatment Facilities. Several details have been altered, exaggerated, and removed for the sake of entertainment, as well as, to soften some of the darker themes.

4) My heart goes out to the heroes putting it on the line every day for the sake of their patients. Speaking from experience, you make a difference.

(Day 1: Raven’s perspective)

“What the hell am I doing here?” I think to myself, standing alone in the broad elegant hall.

I know that I have no business here. I’ve been standing in this same spot for nearly twenty minutes while my sperm donor is in the next room completing the intake forms. The hand-rails to the massive flight of stairs in the center of the hall as well as the molding on the plastered walls are made from hand-carved cherry. The floors are an immaculately polished dark walnut color. The walls are thoroughly adorned with various paintings. Everything from the generic scene featuring a ship caught in a storm to the occasional grim portrait can be seen.

From the outside, this place looks like a castle or a famous cathedral. Within its walls, I can only describe it as a combination of the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters and Hogwarts. However, I know what this place is. I have already heard all three explanations of Restoration House in Sleepy Hollow. My psychiatrist told me it was a place of healing, where my issues can be treated 24/7 while I complete my high school education. My former bunkmate at the YDC tells me it’s a purgatory for those who are too dangerous to be with civilized folk but not dangerous enough to be put away for good. My Dad previously said it is a place to get the crazy out of my faggot ass.

The truth is that the Restoration House is a junk drawer. It is where you take your kids after the damage is done. The perfect place to hide your failures while maintaining the façade that you ever cared about them at all. The manor consists of a central building with an east and west wing. There are also four isolated dormitories built for those of us who are eighteen or older that I will call home until we finish our senior year. This will be the last time that I ever step foot in this building before I am discharged.

I should run, I know that I will never get away, nor do I have anywhere to go if I did. No one wants me. I was already told when I get out of here, I am not welcome at home. I have no friends willing to take me in. I look around and spot the pair of techs in white scrubs watching my every move. I am not apprehensive about their staring. I know that they are just staying ready, believing I could snap at any time. Finally, the wait is over and they come out. My dad doesn’t even look in my direction as he walks past me and out the door. The two techs approach, taking their places on either side of me.

This woman who has just spent a half-hour with my dad is now standing in front of me. She has the face and posture of a Peacock. Her cold eyes stare right through me as if she has already decided that I am not worth sizing up. I don’t know her but I can tell that I hate her. She is tall and skinny. Her salt and pepper hair and grayish complexion make her look far older than she is. Her make up looks like she is trying to pass for a parrot and her hideous grey pant-suit perfectly accentuates her lack of personality. I, unfortunately, will be answering to her for the next four months.

“Good afternoon. I am Ms. Richter. I am the headmistress here. And you are Trenton?” She asked with a shrill voice.

“Yeah.” I answer nervously.

“No!” She says sharply.

“No what?” I ask.

“No to all of it. We do not use real names with the students. We also make a point to address the Faculty with the utmost respect. That goes for the doctors, nurses, teaching staff, techs, security officers, and of course the administrative staff such as myself. So, when I ask you a question I don’t want to hear yeah, I want to hear yes Ma’am. Do you understand?” Ms. Richter asks with a snide tone.

“Yes Ma’am.”I answer quickly.

“Very well then. Follow me.” She commands as we walk out the front doors.

Outside I see my dad’s car is already gone. Of course, he wasted no time in abandoning his queer panty wearing son. We descend the long flight of freshly salted stone steps where another tech is waiting for us in a golf cart. I take a seat in the back between the two other techs while Ms. Richter rides shotgun. The campus looks like a subdivision of mansions surrounded by miles of freshly powdered hills. Even though I know that the Restoration House is nestled within a dense forest, I can not spot a single tree as the cart starts moving.

“While you are under our care you will be expected to adhere to a strict set of rules. In your room, will be two books. The first being the rules and guidelines for this institution escort kayaşehir and the second will of course be the King James Version of the Bible. From this day forward you will be known only by your preferred name, Raven. You are not to tell anyone your real name. Do you understand?” Ms. Richter asks with a stern tone.

“Yes, Ma’am.” I answer.

“Of our rules, there are five that are the most important with the highest severity of consequences if broken. I will extend the kindness of telling them to you now, but in turn, will not tolerate any violation regardless of the severity.

1. You are not to exchange any personal information with any student or staff member. The only exception being your psychiatrist or myself.

2. You are to wear only the clothing we provide you. Once in your room, you will be expected to hand over all of your personal effects including your underwear. At which time you will get dressed in the clothing we provide with your shirt tucked in and pants around the waist.

3. For no reason are you to leave the grounds. Since you are legally an adult, should you leave the grounds we will simply not permit you back on the property. Any tuition paid will be forfeited.

4. You are not permitted out of your dormitory unescorted after 6:00 pm. Violation of this rule will be grounds for expulsion.

5. At no time for any reason may you be in the girl’s dormitory nor can you engage in any sexual activity with anyone. This will also result in expulsion.

I trust that you will remember them because they will not be repeated. Nor will I issue an additional warning if you break them. Understood?” She is asking not even looking back at me while she speaks.

“Yes Ma’am.” I answer almost whispering.

We pull in front of a large brick house. Unlike the main building, this one is far less decorative. All the windows have bars on them. The heavy metal front door is a dull grey color with a touch-tone keypad above the handle. Mounted to the immediate right of the door is a plaque with the word “Dominions” in brass letters. Ms. Richter does not leave her seat while the two techs and I depart from the cart, each one holding an arm.

We enter the house as the golf cart drives off, presumably to return to the Ice Queen to her cave. Inside the house, I see yet another tech sitting in a chair reading a paperback novel. He glances at us briefly before we climb the stairs. In the upstairs hallway, there are three doors. Two boys stop talking long enough to look at me with contempt. I’ve been in places like this before, but I never mastered the art of hiding my anxiety. I know that they hate me. They don’t need a reason. It just is what it is. Eventually, one or both of them will end up beating the shit out of me just to establish a pecking order.

We enter the last door on the right where I see another boy. He is suspended across the two twin beds like a bridge as he is doing push-ups. He is my age with a buzzed head wearing black scrub pants and no top. Nearly his entire back and shoulders are covered with long jagged scars.

He is uttering the phrase “Never again” over and over again with each rise and descent.

There is a look of intensity on his face, a fire in his eyes, and rage in his voice. He notices us in his peripheral vision. As if called, he springs to his feet, his solid hairy chest glistening with sweat. His labored breathing sounds like a feral growling.

“You are supposed to be dressed at all times, Lee. You know this.” The tech on my right says.

“And you’re not supposed to be drinking on the job Kyle, so fuck off.” The boy replies, causing the other tech to laugh.

“You looking for trouble?” Kyle snaps.

“Why are you?” Lee counters, his shoulders tense.

“That’s enough! Now, Lee, remember what Dr. Kiczales has been saying. You are supposed to breathe before you react. Kyle, why don’t you go ahead and get Raven some clothes. His measurements are in his intake form. I will stay here and get him settled.” The tech on my left interjects.

Kyle does not answer. Instead, he storms out of the room heading back down the stairs, making sure every step is heard. As soon as he is out of sight the other tech releases me. Lee’s posture also changes. He is no longer poised and tense. I’m standing still unsure of what is happening or what I am supposed to do. Lee is smiling as he puts on his black scrub top with a big white D stitched on both the front and back. I feel the nervous tremors surging through my body while I try to understand what is going on.

“Why do you have to antagonize him like that? He’s well within his right to report you.” The tech says, almost laughing.

“Oh, come on, Latrell. Kyle is a little bitch. You and I both know that. Seeing me with no shirt is probably the most action he will ever get. Besides, he won’t report me because he wants to restrain himself a nutjob and I am his best shot.” Lee replies.

“Lee, this is Raven. Like you, he will probably only be here for the next four to six months, escort anadolu yakası assuming that you both graduate. Please show him the ropes and keep him out of trouble. Raven, Lee here has only one rule. Do not touch him. I will go check on Kyle. Don’t do anything stupid or it’s my ass.” Latrell says, leaving the room.

“Hi Lee, So, you’re just here till graduation too?” I ask, trying to hide my anxiety.

“Everyone here is eighteen or older. We can leave anytime. The only exceptions are if you’ve been committed. I’m out of here as soon as I hear back from my cousin about a place to live. You a cutter?” He asks bluntly.

“Why, are you?” I counter.

“My scars aren’t self-inflicted. Don’t ask about them, don’t ever fucking touch me, and don’t use my shit to hurt yourself.” Lee demands as he sits on his bed.

“I didn’t mean anything by it.” I mutter.

“I didn’t think you did.” Lee replies with a lingering stare.

“I say or do something?” I ask.

“You’re good. I am not a bad guy. To be honest, I have been looking forward to having a roommate for a while. Lights-out is at 8:00 pm and it will be nice to have someone to talk to.” Lee states.

“So, you’ve been here a while?” I ask.

“Two years, seven months, and six days. It’s a long story and I don’t know how much of it I want you to know yet.” Lee responds.

“Oh shit!” I exclaim.

“It could be worse.” He says trying to change the subject.

“Like how?” I ask.

“Fuck if I know. You could have learned about the birds and the bees at the Neverland ranch. You can get your dick bit off by a snake. Anyway, they will be back any second to take your bag and clothes. So if you have cigarettes or anything else you want to stash, I suggest that you tuck it under your mattress now.” He says as he gets up and leaves the room.

(Day 1: Lee’s Perspective)

I leave my room seeing Latrell and Kyle coming up the stairs with a neatly folded stack of clothing and a black trash bag. After almost two and a half years, I know the drill. They are coming in to take the new kids’ personal effects. This means that I have to leave the room while he disrobes and changes into his new clothes. I can’t help but feel bad for him. Raven is trying so hard to act casual, but I can smell the fear oozing from his every pore. A lot of the other guys here will try to break him early on. It’s something that everyone here goes through. So why is it that I even care?

I hate it here. It’s not the food, the staff, or even the lack of identity. No, what I hate is to be looked at like a broken toy. They would stop looking at me like I am a helpless victim if they shared in my experiences. I stopped hiding my scars years ago. Today they are the merit badges of my childhood, proof of my indestructibility. I step aside to allow for the two to walk through. Kyle can walk out into a busy intersection for all I care. Latrell, on the other hand, is one of the few decent human beings here. During the years that I spent stranded here, he never once showed me any disrespect. Even after I broke his nose my first week here. Latrell is still one of the few RNs that I can count on.

Not many of the kids here really understand who’s who when it comes to the staff. They just assume that the staff consists of Administrators, teachers, security, doctors, and techs. They never stop to consider, it is the nurses(RN) or social workers who are usually the ones looking out for you. I was here almost a year before I learned that techs were operating on the nurse’s licenses. It also means that techs can not get you meds or be in the same building as you if an RN isn’t there as well. Kyle’s bitch ass is a tech. I don’t hate all techs, only Kyle. He’s nothing more than the mall cop who takes himself way too seriously.

Down the hall, I can see Jayce and Sabian. They are noticeably aggravated. This is of course because of Raven’s arrival. It is no fault of his, with the other staff members here, they are not free to smoke cigarettes or peruse the impressive collection of Hustler magazines that they keep hidden behind the roll-top desk in the hallway. Now before you think that hiding contraband in the hallway is stupid, I should say that at least one of our rooms is tossed at random daily. The hallway on the other hand is rarely searched. I keep my cigarettes and lighter in the potted plant at the end of the hall.

The presence of Latrell and Kyle is a major disruption to our usual Friday routine. Bobby, the portly nurse downstairs, who is most likely reading one of his trademark erotic novellas, is a famously lazy individual. He won’t get out of his chair for anything short of a fight breaking out. Last year he was reprimanded because another patient here was wandering the campus drunk and he wasn’t even aware that the guy was out of his room. We thrive on everything being routine here. You know everyone you will see, everywhere you go, and everything you will do just by the day and time.

I know Bobby will be with our group every Wednesday through Friday escort avrupa yakası from noon to midnight and on Saturday from 2:00 pm to 10:00 pm. He is always relieved by Kitty and her famous titties. Although for as hot as she is, she is even more of a buzz kill than Kyle. Saturday morning from 6:00 am to 2:00 pm we are watched by Drew, who is also here Sunday through Tuesday noon to midnight. He is then relieved by Emma who happens to be Ms. Richter’s daughter. We typically only see additional techs or RNs when we are moving from one building or class to another. Other than that, If you see an additional tech, RN, or security officer, it commonly means something is going down.

Many of the guys here assume this is the dorm for the hard-core boys. They fail to consider if we are that dangerous, then the likelihood for us to have a scheduled release date would be pretty low. Latrell told me all about the true size and scale of the Restoration House. It was a shock to discover that this place that I hate so much is practically a resort compared to other facilities or even the secured ward a mile up the road. This campus is organized more like a boarding school than an actual hospital.

While I am walking toward Jayce and Sabian, leaving Raven to get situated, I wonder why I can’t stop thinking about the new guy. I have seen people coming and going for as long as I have been here. He has soft feminine hips, long dark brown hair, and full, pouty lips. In other words, being over six feet tall and maybe a buck-sixty soaking wet, I can tell he is a total bitch. Is it the scared look in his eyes? I lied to him when I said I was just waiting for a call and then I am out of here. I hate it here but I have nobody to call or to call me. I have nowhere to go and no one to take me in after I get my diploma. I hate it here but I am terrified of leaving.

Jayce and Sabian both throw me a nod as I approach. Sabian considers himself a thug but he knows better than to fuck with me. His last roommate left here with a cast and a newly formed speech impediment after he spat in my face. Even so, Sabian will never admit to being afraid of me. Jayce is a cool guy but he is a follower. He hangs on Sabian’s every word like its scripture. We all pretend to be friends but I know that they hate my guts. However, life is easier when everyone at least tries to get along. I know that either tonight or tomorrow morning the pair will end up jumping Raven, if for no other reason than to establish a pecking order.

“So, Lee, what’s the fish stick like?” Jayce inquires.

“Don’t know yet. But I think we should give him a while before we do anything.” I respond.

“Nah, fuck that. Bitch gotta learn the rules.” Sabian announces, forgetting his white suburbanite upbringing.

“I’m not saying that he won’t. Just give him a chance to adjust.” I counter.

“Really! Like are you sweet on the guy? All Will and Grace?” Jayce says, laughing.

“Right! Kind of ballsy coming to us and asking for an exception to the rule.” Sabian growls, squaring his shoulders as he approaches.

“I’m not asking, Motherfucker!” I snap causing them to pause. “Sabian, or should I say, Arthur, you got jumped for coming in here like you were a badass. And Jayce, you were snitching on everyone to the techs. I’m not asking for immunity, I’m telling you to keep your goddamned hands off of him until he does something to deserve it. Does that make sense to you?” I ask, stepping closer, making them back up.

Sabian takes a deep breath, looking right at me with a hateful stare. I am wondering why the hell I did that. This isn’t me. Why am I suddenly the sheriff of this town? The verbal altercation alone is enough to get both of us put in isolation and restraints. That is if the powers that be don’t simply decide not to cut their losses and kick us out. What is wrong with me?

“And if he does something to deserve a beating?” Sabian asks, breathing hard.

“Then nature takes its course. Then you beat him down. I’ll even help. But I don’t want to spend my last four months here with the staff watching my every move just so that you can flex for some scrawny new kid. Cool?” I reply, trying to keep my hands from shaking.

“That would bite, I remember when you and Danny fought. They even waited outside the bathroom when we went. That was bullshit!” Jayce adds, looking at Sabian.

“So, that’s what this is, keeping the staff off our backs? Not some B.S. power move?” Sabian asks, showing signs of calming down.

“That’s all. I have nothing to prove and nothing to gain.” I quietly add, looking to make sure that the techs are still busy.

“Fine.” Sabian says with a low voice.

We start talking again like nothing happened. Before long, I am laughing and joking with them. The same conversations that we always have. Jayce is going on about all the pussy he has smashed and even naming off Staff as well as some of the girls in the Chastity dorm. We all know he’s lying but it is still fun to hear. I know he’s lying because if anything else, there is no way that the girls in C shave their pussies. We’re not allowed to have razors or any sharp objects. Our pencils are only three inches long and dull. All of the hair cutting is done by a barber on Saturdays. The only options are a buzzed head and a clean shave. Either that or you can let it grow.

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